Eliminate Stress: How, When & Why You Should Say No

It sounds great right? Immediately eliminate stress by simply learning how to say no.  It’s really not that hard, well physically hard at least, but we struggle with being able to do it for some reason.  All it takes is one simple 2-letter word, no.  But, the truth is most women struggle with this.  We’re givers, people-pleasers, and we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  But, we can immediately eliminate stress if we learn how to say no.

Immediately Eliminate Stress by Learning to Say No

When to say no

When your heart is not in it

If it’s not right with your heart, then it will always feel like a burden.  Like you should be somewhere else, doing something else.  Then you develop resentment, which defeats to purpose of saying yes in the first place.  Learning to say no in these situations can immediately eliminate stress. 

If it worsens your situation

Some of us want to give, give, give, but at what expense?  When it starts to affect you negatively, it’s time to pull back.  Get out of there.  Re-evaluate.  This can be hard for those whose purpose is to serve.  But, remember if you’re not happy, if it’s not serving you, it’s time to stop serving it.  

You don’t have the time

Family is always 1st priority.  When your family is happy, then you can pour more into the world around you.  Neglecting to take care of your family and always caring for others is not serving your greater purpose.  It’s actually doing the opposite.  Get your family involved with what you’re doing.  Make it something you all do together.  If this still doesn’t work, it’s time to say no. 

When it becomes expected

This can be hard but hear me out.  I’ve watched way too many family members and friends be taken advantage of.  It’s hard to say no to someone who needs help, especially if it’s family.  But, really evaluate the situation first.  Is it constant?  Are they not attempting to do things on their own because they know you’ll rush to their rescue.  Are they repeating actions that get them into situations?  At this point, you’re not helping. You’re enabling.  We don’t want to enable people to continue destroying behavior.  Say no and let them work through it on their own.  Sometimes they have to fall many times before they learn to climb.  

Too much to do already

We’ve all done it, over-planned our week. You can check out my article on weekly planning if your interested in learning how I plan my weeks. If looking at your week is overwhelming.  The thought of this upcoming Thursday makes your head spin.  Say no.  Cancel some things.  Look at what’s really not important or fulfilling and move it, reschedule it, cancel it altogether.  Even if it means saying ‘no’ to yourself.  I used to demand so much of myself that I would create my own stress.  I didn’t see it, but my husband sure did.  He’d say, “Christy, no one is making you do all this.  You’re creating your own stress.”  It took me a long time to grasp that.  Don’t do this to yourself.  It’s not worth it.  There’s no need to over-commit yourself.  You’re in charge of your schedule.  Make it work for you.  Go ahead say no and reduce some of your self-induced stress.

Interferes with your “me time”

Suppose you have something scheduled for yourself.  Something that will recharge your batteries and you’re doing it just for yourself, DO NOT cancel it for something else.  Simply say you’re already busy, does another time work.  Here’s the thing.  Most of the time, there is always another time option that works for both people.  IF it becomes too hard to agree, then you can make that choice, but never give up your “you time” without exhausting all other options.  If this is for a Dr’s appointment or something of the like nature, you’ll, of course, want to try and make that work.  However, if it’s for someone’s personal benefit, you’re time is just as important as theirs.  You don’t have to tell them what you have scheduled. It’s really not their business, but if you decide to move it, make it a big deal.  After exhausting all options, state, “well, I guess I could fit it in here.  I’ll have to move somethings around, but I can do it for you. “  This lets them know that you are giving up valuable time for them.  Your time is precious. Make it have more value.

Take it one day at a time

If you found this post helpful, please share it to your social media. You never know who else it may help.   I’d love to hear from you.  Please leave a comment below or shoot me an email if you liked the post, have questions or suggestions regarding this post or ideas for topics on any future posts.  If your interested in more related posts check out my related posts below or check out this compilation of 20+ ways to reduce stress in your life. 

I wish you the very best in creating more calm in your life.